Family Time

 I think I sometimes get caught up in the idea that family time is this incredible thing that will only yield excitement and fun. I get ideas in my head about wonderful family bonding moments that are filled with nothing but love and fun and wonderful conversation that leads to my children growing up knowing nothing but feelings of unity and love in their home. So I try to plan. I brainstorm and come up with, what I think are genius ideas for our family to spend quality time together.

 And it's wonderful in so many ways! We laugh, talk, create memories and have a good time... for the most part. But along with the fun also comes reality! It isn't all pleasant conversation, laughter and fun. There is also the inevitable...

Sibling arguments and pestering that at times seems to never end, an occasional name calling or hitting, an accident in public, the disobedient child (or children) who thinks he or she knows better than Mom or Dad...

Which often leads to a parent getting frustrated with the results of the disobedience...

I could go on and on. I think any parent who has kids (or anyone who has been around kids more than 5 minutes) can sympathize and understand where I'm coming from. I will also admit that I have also felt like the effort put I into family time was quite possibly wasted and more exhausting than if I hadn't planned anything, or put forth the extra effort to make it perfect. Because in all honesty, sometimes these experiences can make me feel like I am failing as a parent.

But here's the truth:

This life isn't easy for anyone, not kids, siblings, and definitely not for parents. But part of the journey is working through and overcoming the difficult bumps in the road; enduring the most exhausting moments of parenthood and realizing that every step taken (whether it seems to be leading us forward or back) is a step of progress and learning. 

There is no such thing as a perfect life... a perfect family, perfect children, or even a perfect evenings, just perfect moments. Moments that can be lost if we are busy only seeing the negative or the problems that will always be there. Moments that can be folded into perfect memories, but can also pass by so quickly that if we aren't watching for them they will be gone, and all we will remember are the feelings of stress and frustration that we felt as we tried to create that perfect moment that was unknowingly passing right before our eyes.

So where are these moments?

It's that twinkle in your baby's eyes and the way he lights up and gushes when you say his name. (You just have to look past the dirty diaper)

It's seeing your family work together on something and actually having fun together, knowing you are teaching your children something important. (even though it takes more work teaching them and probably won't be done as well as it would be if you had just done it yourself.)

It's the laughter of your children as they play together. (even though their laughter is caused by throwing sand in the air that you know will take forever to get out of their clothes and hair.)

It's the funny things that your children say when they think you aren't listening (while resisting the urge to correct them)

It's that rare moment when you realize you have a free hand and you use that moment to hold your husband's hand. (Enjoying it for the brief moment that it lasts.)

Like I said, it's the moments. But if we are looking for them, those moments can be just enough. Enough to keep us going through the long days. Enough to give us the energy to plan another family outing. Enough to help us find joy in the journey of life. There is joy in the moments, and there are moments of joy everywhere, we just have to look for them. Someone once told me, "you will always find what you are looking for." and I believe it. Our perspective in so many ways controls who we are, as well as how happy we will be in this life. Life isn't easy for anyone, especially not parents, and it isn't going to get any easier; always waiting for the rainbow after the rain will only lead to disappointment, as we realize that not even rainbows are perfect. But noticing the beauty even in the rain somehow makes even the palest rainbow look far more beautiful when it finally does come.