I have been feeling like I need to write in my journal lately, but every time I go to do it, something happens, and I don't have time. It makes me wonder how my mom managed to write in a journal for me until I was three or something.
Time has been passing too quickly for me. Another friend of mine just got married. She was lots younger than me! I don't feel old enough to be married... yet I have been for almost 5 years now. How did my husband get so old. ;) I can't believe I am married to someone who is 26. Never mind the fact that I am only two years younger.
It seems like just yesterday I was studying out things like where to go to school, and how to cram in enough practice before I took the ACT. Now I'm studying up on things like potty training tips, how to make enough money to pay the bills, and how to better assist an overwhelmed student who is also my husband.
Am I really old enough to have kids?
Jarom is turning 3 in a few months. I should throw him a birthday party.
I feel like my social life consists of discussions with a two year old. And yet somehow those conversations are rewarding. It makes me feel important that he can talk to me, and ask me questions that have simple answers. Someday I worry that I won't be able to answer the questions that he asks me, so I should probably enjoy these moments while they last.
Taysia is such a funny girl, and yet even now I can tell that she is going to be a handful. I watched her running on the grass outside today. She was laughing as the wind was blowing in her face. Her blond hair was blowing straight up, and the look on her face was one of curiosity and joy. Where did the time go between her being a tiny baby in my arms, to the picture of her in my mind running into the wind laughing.
I was looking at the pictures of Thayne and I on our wedding day, and remembering how nervous and excited i was that day. I was so worried about making the right choice. I was scared that I was jumping into marriage too fast, and didn't have a clue what I was doing. Yet inside of me, I knew that it was right, and perfect, and that I wanted nothing else than to be married to this man for the rest of my life.
How small those feelings were back then compared to now.
I feel like marrying Thayne opened a whole new world of blessings to me that I couldn't even imagine at that point in my life. Blessings that came in the form of tiny heartbeats, and fingerprints.
Its funny how when I think about all my blessings I have a hard time getting past these three. I guess when I really think about it, my family is all that really matters to me. What I did to deserve these blessings in my life I will never know. I feel so average. So far below anything special, and yet my blessings make me feel that somehow I am more. That I am worth more. That I am capable of more that even I know.
I believe that inside each person is more potential and strength than any of us can comprehend, and as we reach inward, to the best parts of ourselves, we find that strength - that potential - and watch ourselves become more than we ever knew we could be. It is all a matter of seeing good, being good, and doing good that unlocks that potential to ourselves and the world around us.
A small sampling of the dealings and adventures of our family and the love that we share.
2 comments:
k so that was an inspirational blog today. just what i needed. wait till you are in my spot with constant questions that need ansewers and sometimes the answers your are not ready to give. but hey you are worth it and it is a blessing to be married and have kids. even though these trials make take days, weeks, and even years you never think you will get through and then you look back and realize you made it and it took the strength you never thought you had but you did it. just think of that..
Wow. So, I could totally change a couple names and ages and paste that in my journal. So funny. Makes me think we could be great friends if we actually knew eachother! lol.
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